Slut Shaming

I was thinking about this when I was on the bus this morning…

I have found it unusual in my predominantly liberal circles to find people who believe when a woman has sex with a lot of different people, this is evidence of low moral character. On the other hand, people seem to think of sleeping around as being evidence of low self esteem. And I just think that’s bullshit. That plays right into the idea of female sexuality as being a commodity, and that women who have sex with a lot of people are selling their high value commodity at a low price. The intersection of capitalism and sexism. I’m so sick of that.

You can have sex with 30 people in a month and have good boundaries and self respect. You can not have sex with anybody in a year and still feel wonderful about yourself. And the reverse is true! Some people who are very promiscuous have terrible self esteem. And some people in monogamous relationships also have shitty self esteem. It’s just a false correlations

There is just no perfect algorithm between how much you’re getting, and how good you feel about yourself. Hook, line and sinker


Hmmm…I’m not sure exactly what you mean.

i just mean that many poc i know create a drug war/race war binary in activism. like when that “fuck weed legalize my mom” sign blew up, i…

Oh ok, I get it. I think the decriminalization of weed is actually huge for POC because there are so many POC in prison because of trumped up weed charges. But in general I’m not too into a hierarchy of activism. This is not directly related, but recently I’ve been having some stupid ass arguments with people about which is worse, what’s happening in Ferguson or what’s happening in Gaza. It doesn’t matter which is worse! They’re both horrifying. Different activists have different priorities, and since there are plenty of issues, it makes sense that different people would be working on different issues.

Going to San Fransisco…

"If you’re going to San Fransisco/be sure to wear some flowers in your hair"

Have I mentioned that I’m going to San Fransisco in two days? So happy to get out of this hot, boring, white town. Also Berkeley and Oakland. I have this thing about not liking to say “the Bay Area”, I like to refer to specific cities. Is that elitist and ignorant, or is that just a preferential thing?

Finally feeling pretty ok again.

After a week of waking up at outrageous hours to work at this fucking golf tournament and stand in the sun all day long being demeaned by golfers, I had a number of minor meltdowns. M.M. and I have gotten to know each other so well in this process, we are practically life partners. Anyway, I came home last night, holed up in my room listening to the Pixies, and talked to M.D. for over an hour and felt so…calm. My room is completely trashed, because inexplicably, in the middle of Thursday night my desk fell over for no reason I could fathom. My shit just went everywhere and I got hit in the face with a book. No joke.

Anyway, this morning I had a very promising job interview at an organization that I think I actually have some respect for. It would be so nice to not simply be breaking even paycheck to paycheck, if full on running myself into debt. I got a cup of coffee, and running around town wearing my red dress with the birds and peep toe sandals, just felt like the queen of Portland Oregon. Part of this is feeling manic, but part of it is also…self esteem.

I ran into this girl R, who is this wonderful silly punk girl who went to the same college I did, and plays in this great band. I’d always had a friend crush on her, but always felt like she was kind of out of my league in terms of friendship. But feeling infused with confidence, I asked her to go to a show, and we’re planning on it when I get back from San Fransisco

H.A. and I are going on a second date tonight…and I am not freaking out about it!


Adam Lupton

What’s in store for me in the direction i don’t take?

“… the moments when everything is open, when all options are present, and all is undecided – mere destinies unfolding. Our choices shift into one plane of existence, the extension of every path still available, until we pick the red tie instead of the blue; harbor anger instead of compassion; attempt to fix it or break it; and all our possibilities collapse into the singular of what is, rippling outward from the moment of decision to affect our lives in ways unknown… The noise at the back of our mind wondering anxiously, What’s in store for me in the direction I don’t take?”


(via awildwest)


That Link/Zelda/Gannondorf poke pic is literally making me so happy holy shit. 

Also I was walking to work and someone stopped me and said “I saw you on tumblr today! I loved your style and reblogged you” and it was literally the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. surrealistfishpdx was that you with the green tights, glasses on Burnside and 5th??? 

Ugh I am feeling such regrets for deleting my original surrealistfishpdx blog. That was such a fantastic blog, what was I thinking?

"There Will Be Justice": Mourners Speak Outside Michael Brown’s Funeral in St. Louis

"Superblues" Little Hurricane" If you want something/you gotta work for it/work your hands down to the bone/If you love someone/you gotta mean it/let them know every damn chance you get